Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize