Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
