you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
