omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
