i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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