Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
