Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
