Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize