i permit you to call me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize