I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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