So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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