I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
