you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
