Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
