You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So much Jack, so little girl.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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