you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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