So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
