i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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