My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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