i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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