it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
