That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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