We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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