evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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