A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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