this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
