I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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