Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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