I just made out with a guy for $7.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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