yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
