Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize