the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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