Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
