you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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