Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
