the condom got lost in my hair
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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