I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
