I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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