I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
