what day is it and did you see me today?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
