he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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