Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it glows. i had to have it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
