What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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