My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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