what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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