My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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