i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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