Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
