She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
