Moan for me like Helen Keller
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Enjoy the penises
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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