It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize