I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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