dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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