I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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