so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
