Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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