Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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