Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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