Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.

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(716): View more from New York

You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

Marry him. Now.

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(310): View more from California

If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen

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(805): View more from California

I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.

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