Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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