I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
