I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize