he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
