the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
this will be a night to untag.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize