Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
