I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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