How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize