you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
