i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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