Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
