So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
