What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize