i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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