Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
