I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
