she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
