Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
