I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
