By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I still have a little drunk in my system
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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