How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
