i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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