It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think your dad took our porno
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
