Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize